Trouble with your Libra partner? Get your revenge by hiding their house keys and wallet.

Lost the key to your 4.5 mat room? Stay the night in Ueno Park. This will be a good time to grow a beard. You will find a safe home in someone’s closet.

Short of Money? Don’t worry. If you were born on May 12, you will find a suitcase full of cash on Meiji dori between February 3 and 13.

Don’t jaywalk this month. The police are watching you. Also be careful what you say in the toilet at work. One of your colleagues has recently installed a microphone.

Born after midnight? Sorry, you will lose your job on Feb. 10 if you don’t get your act together NOW and stop drinking.

Careful. You will be hit by Cupid’s arrow — and it will NOT be sterilized! People are talking about you at work. Do whatever it takes to find out what they are saying.

The man from debt recovery agency will call for the other kidney. Tell him you've already sold it and left the cash somewhere in a suitcase.

Lonesome? Great. On February the 8th dozens of Tokyoites will be waiting for you at Togoshi station between 6 and 8 pm. Be sure to display your keitai in a prominent place.

Be careful crossing the street. A bored biker could pick you up as a passenger. Also, this month is a bad time to step on the cracks in the sidewalk.

Congratulations. If you have a job, you will get a raise. People will finally start to appreciate you, but beware bearded strangers, especially the evil one lurking in your closet.

Congratulations. You’ll meet the partner of your dreams at Togoshi station on February 8, between 6 and 8 pm. Look for someone with a keitai.

Bad month for you. Better stay indoors or wear a helmet. You’ll lose your faith in horrorscopes, but will start believing again when you find out your Chinese animal year is the skunk.